The Skinny Buddha

i knew i loved you before i knew you…

life is a funny thing. for those fortunate enough to realize every day is a small part of a continual journey, we go thru our days, nights and our dreams waiting for those piercing moments that turn our hearts to see what was meant to be…when a beginning doesn’t have an ending…when something changes your very existence for every day after…

when my girls were born, i became completely gender biased without a moment hesitation…

motherhood saved me. my beautiful girls saved me. never would i open my eyes to a new morning without purpose. without love. without devotion. somehow i realized i could fix the broken in me. every sweet lil smile, every soft cuddle…oh this was love…so fresh and untainted…these adorable little girls needed me…and i wanted to be worthy…

sure i had a pleasant childhood. from the outside looking in all appeared normal—planets orderly orbiting. yet there wasn’t someone to help me, guide me, give me confidence to find my way. no life skills. no prep. just get out there and don’t disappoint. i had my fair share of stumbles-tough times trying to discover ME-trial and error…no one ever gave me direct advice except maybe my high school journalism teacher PJ but she was such a big woman that i think she kept talking to me cuz she couldn’t get out of her chair to avoid me…whatever, right? it would take a few bottles of vino to go that far back and fast-forward…nonetheless-i’m smart enough to understand that grudges and regrets are useless…force yourself to learn from them…i’ve moved on…

so now when i get asked (and i do) not what college i graduated from (because i didn’t) but rather-“what’s your secret to raising such amazing daughters? they are each so different but they get along so well...” i pause. it’s my proudest moment. i say it’s all-them. they completed me. they cleared the way to build a life of accomplishment. they gave me the insight when they filled my void…

the most selfish thing i’ve ever done is wanting my daughters to be better than me in every way possible. to make sure each of them know how capable they are, how confidence can be humble, how being educated will change your world, to be adored and appreciated by your sister will be the strength of your longest everlasting friendship, cherish the devotion, encourage forgiveness, learn how to blast music and dance…and never forget your mother told you how extraordinary you are…bring the joy with you…it’s a valuable and rare commodity…just like you…

xx,
the skinny buddha